Author Topic: Wedding with no rehearsal, has anyone done this?  (Read 1438 times)

Despedina

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Re: Wedding with no rehearsal, has anyone done this?
« Reply #30 on: November 05, 2019, 11:21:27 am »
Well I have to say the day was a bit of a mess. Even my BIL who was the groom said as much.  Apparently 2 days before a text went out to everyone except us asking people to help with certain things.  Part was an invite to the bachelor party which we opted out of on Friday night then the rest was asking people to show at 9 am to start decorating. The only reason I found out was because my daughter got the text and sent it to me later.  When the decorator volunteers showed up they were not allowed entry until much later (venue never agreed to allowing them to enter that early).
We had been asked to arrive approx. 3pm for the 4:30 pm wedding.  We left our home at 1:30 for the 1 hr drive and as we were pulling out of the garage MIL called in a bit of a panic asking if we were almost there.  Apparently the decorator volunteers were way behind on setting up.
When we arrived we entered the venue and there were 3 guys I didn't recognize setting up. The couple had purchased EVERYTHING themselves for décor and had a uhaul outside full of it.  All the tables had different candelabras / salt pepper shakers / candles / butter dishes / place settings and small origami animals to put on the tables There was also the gift to the guests which was a box with chocolate truffles inside. This was a huge undertaking for the volunteers to set up.  There was a slight chance of rain so they also had set up a flower canopy in the front for the ceremony. I found my 25 year old niece in the back cutting potatoes. Only the meat was provided by a caterer so several in the wedding party were cooking everything else.
The ceremony itself was half an hour late.  My son was not even really used. He escorted MIL out of the back room to sit down.  After the ceremony all the wedding party went outside with no announcement. The guests were confused and a couple of plates of cheese / crackers and frozen shrimp were put out. I don't think most people knew when/if the meal would be served and at least 1 table got up and left.   The only bar items provided were a few single bottles that the couple had bought over the last year.  Maybe a total of a dozen different bottles and it was gone pretty fast.
The wedding party came back in about an hour later and was introduced. The DJ pronounced the grooms (also my and another BIL)'s last name incorrectly 3 times.  I did go up and tell him politely as it was very wrong and he thanked me and said no one had told him.   The meal was pretty good and there were TONS of leftovers.  The music then started and the couple did their first dance, then the whole wedding party went to the back room that they had changed in and didn't come out again. The groom did come out and make the rounds to say HI to everyone and at that point told my DH that the whole thing was a complete mess. The bride never spoke to us.  At that point maybe 5 people were dancing.  It was about 9pm and I was tired. I asked MIL what time she was leaving and she expressed that they had to clean up that night after the reception ended at 10pm.   We went past the back room and the wedding party was passing around a cardboard box full of small bottles of Fireball and hanging out.  We left. MIL later said she was there past 12pm helping clean everything up. 
Honestly I'm glad its over.
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TootsNYC

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Re: Wedding with no rehearsal, has anyone done this?
« Reply #31 on: November 05, 2019, 11:38:25 am »
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The DJ pronounced the grooms (also my and another BIL)'s last name incorrectly 3 times.  I did go up and tell him politely as it was very wrong and he thanked me and said no one had told him.

Did he ever ask?

If it was that easy to get "terribly wrong," it should have been obvious that he should check with someone.

Maude

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Re: Wedding with no rehearsal, has anyone done this?
« Reply #32 on: November 06, 2019, 02:15:51 am »
And this was the wedding that took years in the planning?
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Hmmm

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Re: Wedding with no rehearsal, has anyone done this?
« Reply #33 on: November 06, 2019, 09:04:13 am »
Every wedding I've been to has had issues come up. I do agree that some of theirs could have been avoided with better planning but it does sound like the bride and groom had little experience in pulling off an event like this. As an usher, I find that often their only jobs is to escort a grandparent or parent to be seated, especially in outdoor settings where people might wander around a bit instead of heading directly into the chapel or sanctuary to be seated. I agree a professional DJ should have made sure to go through every name with someone in the wedding to get the correct pronunciation. That is the typeof detail a couple might forget but a professional should remember to do.

I'm really curious about the style of the costumes. What were the bride and groom wearing?

TootsNYC

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Re: Wedding with no rehearsal, has anyone done this?
« Reply #34 on: November 06, 2019, 10:42:30 am »
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it does sound like the bride and groom had little experience in pulling off an event like this.

This is one of the big reasons why the mother of the bride used to plan the wedding. She just had more experience! Brides were younger, men didn't "do" the social planning and weren't paying attention to those details when they attended weddings and family gatherings over the years, etc.

Today's brides are older, but I think they still haven't always gotten the experience that their mothers have.
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Despedina

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Re: Wedding with no rehearsal, has anyone done this?
« Reply #35 on: November 06, 2019, 11:01:15 am »
I mean overall I was happy to attend. The costume theme was a bit lopsided. Apparently it was my BIL's idea and bride wasn't completely on board with it. I thought that she was based on the emails she was sending out months ahead of time but just before she said "it was A's idea" multiple times and I realized why when we saw the wedding party. The groom was dressed up in what I would call a Victorian type suit (my MIL made the jacket and vest) and all his groomsmen were dressed up as characters of their choice (there was Robin Hood, a character from a video game, Merlin, and I cannot remember what else) the bride  was in an A line poofy bridal gown and bridesmaids were just in A Line gowns of different colors.  There were probably about a dozen guests dressed up. I saw another Robin Hood, Mileficent, I was Melisandre from GOT and my daughter dressed up as a medieval elf.
I think everything would have been more smooth if they would have managed expectations better and asked questions. BIL was heard to say that he wasn't sure they actually saved any money by buying everything vs a company coming in and doing basic table cloths and flower centerpieces. 
And yes they spent over 2 years planning this.

Rose Red

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Re: Wedding with no rehearsal, has anyone done this?
« Reply #36 on: November 06, 2019, 01:25:18 pm »
You know what though? In 50 years, almost nobody will remember all the weddings that went smoothly. I bet people will remember this one and hopefully lovingly laugh. If they're still together and happy, that is.
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