Bad Manners and Brimstone

So today I ran into (at an outside, socially distanced event!) that man who invited us to be Zoom attendees at his daughter's wedding later this month.  He asked in a sort of roundabout way if we would be attending; I don't especially want to, but I couldn't really think of an excuse, so I said we would -- NBD. 

I learned a few things about the wedding pertinent to this discussion. 
- they hope to be able to have up to 30-40 people in live attendance
- they invited 200 by Zoom (not sure whether or not that includes the live attendees).
- I asked if it hadn't been during the pandemic and they could have had a regular wedding, how many people they would have had.   He said they hadn't really thought about it, because the couple only got engaged fairly recently, so it had never been an option, but maybe around 100.

So this is sort of an example of what I'm wondering about.  I don't think they invited the let's-say-100 additional guests in order to maximize their take.  I mean, if that were the case, why not 500?  800?  They are nice people (although I just found out today that the groom's parents are people I knew long ago, and they are real nutters!)  I think that they just figured that the Zoom event made it possible for them to invite more people that they really do like than if they had had to host a live event.  But it's still double.  And others may indeed invite 500 or more to a Zoom or live stream wedding, because why not?  The more the merrier, and you aren't putting people on the spot to have to travel or even dress up, hire a sitter, park, etc., or even spend more than just an hour or so, not devote half a day or more.  All of that is actually quite reasonable. 

So what does it all mean?  If this kind of thing snowballs -- and there is really no reason to think it will not continue after the pandemic ends someday, either -- guests will be invited to weddings several times a year.  It's pretty hard to turn down an invitation that is so easy to accept without being insulting. 

But even if no one is doing it to be gift grabby, that could mean an awfully big wedding gift budget, especially for people you don't care all that much about.  My husband thinks that accepting an invitation to a Zoom event doesn't carry the same expectation of or need to give a gift as usual.  But I'm not so sure.  It comes down to the fact that the gift is for the marriage, not the wedding.  At the same time, if people invite people who would not ordinarily make the cut -- I don't mean a few more, I mean, "What the heck!  Let's invite everyone we think might like it" -- it doesn't feel like it's the same as usual. 

What do you think?  Take this wedding for example.  Does it make a difference that there will be 30-40 live attendees, although that's not their choice, just the rules?  Does it matter that it is 200, not 500?  Does it matter that I doubt we would have been invited had they had 100 people at a live event?  That the invitation was via Facebook?  Does any of it matter in terms of whether the hosts are doing anything rude or pushy or grabby or whatever?  Does any of it affect what you would do about a gift? 

I am really interested in everyone's opinions.