Author Topic: Bad behavior at the Reception  (Read 952 times)

baritone108

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Bad behavior at the Reception
« on: November 20, 2021, 11:44:10 pm »
 I am a banquet server at a party center.  There are several behaviors which I'm not sure fall under bad manners but are still bad behavior.  I'm not in a position to say anything as part of my job but I wish I were.  Here are a few things that happened at a reception today...

1)  Young children ( guessing 6 and under) behaving as young children were completely ignored by the adults.  They chased each other through the reception room, between tables, and across the dance floor pretty much for the entire event.  People were walking through the room with trays of full glasses, hot food, etc., while these kids dashed in, around, and between their feet.  Any of those kids could have been seriously injured if they had run into or tripped a server, let alone injury to the server or anyone hit with food, glass, and so on.  No one said a word about it to any of the kids for the entire event which lasted for about 4 1/2 hrs.

2) Still the young kids... While dancing was starting a little boy about 5YO shoved a 2YO and knocked him flat on his face on the dance floor.  2YO was carrying what turned out to be a sippy cup.  Thank goodness it had a lid or people would have been sliding around the dance floor.  5YO followed 2YO around and did this to him again at least 4 more times.  2YO spots me and comes over for help.  I asked him to show me where his mother was and I would take him to her.  While we were looking she stopped dancing and called out to him so I took him over and explained.  She did keep him with her for quite a while after that.

3) When the arrangements were made the time for arrival, food service, and ending were established.  It is not uncommon for the food service to be delayed by 15 min to 1/2 hour for any number of good reasons so not considered bad behavior.  However, today after the toasts were made person after person came up to make a speech.  Servers do not go out onto the floor while anyone (except the DJ) is speaking, including intro of the wedding party, grace, and toasts.  The dinner service got delayed by almost an hour and then one of the guests berated the owner because the food hadn't been served yet.  Same person berated the owner because the cake hadn't been cut and served and owner had to explain that we were waiting for the bride and groom to cut the cake.

 I realized as I was typing that some of the other things I would have included don't happen at the receptions, they happen at other events so I won't list them here.

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Mrs Rat

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Re: Bad behavior at the Reception
« Reply #1 on: November 21, 2021, 02:11:08 pm »
Its sad that people come to these events and let their kids run wild. People are too afraid to step in and stop bad behaviour because of the possible abuse from the bad parents. Its good that the 2YO came to you for help and I hope that his mum kept a better eye on him.
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Rho

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Re: Bad behavior at the Reception
« Reply #2 on: November 21, 2021, 08:55:44 pm »
"one of the guests berated the owner because the food hadn't been served yet."
a GUEST?  Maybe the guest also wanted to complain about the choice of food or color scheme.......

The mom who left her her 2 year old unsupervised long enough for him to be pushed 4 times was lucky an adult didn't take the child away while she was ignoring him.
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BeagleMommy

Re: Bad behavior at the Reception
« Reply #3 on: November 22, 2021, 08:00:07 am »
These are the exact reasons many happy couples say "no children" on their wedding invitations.

Something tells me the "guest" who complained about the delay in food service/cake cutting is someone who would complain about just about anything.
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oogyda

Re: Bad behavior at the Reception
« Reply #4 on: November 22, 2021, 08:21:47 am »
Its sad that people come to these events and let their kids run wild. People are too afraid to step in and stop bad behaviour because of the possible abuse from the bad parents. Its good that the 2YO came to you for help and I hope that his mum kept a better eye on him.

On the day of my niece's wedding, I went to the hair stylist's salon (which is the bottom floor of her home) with the grandmother of the bride (getting her hair styled), stepmother of the bride (getting her hair styled), step sister of the bride, step sister's DD and step sister's step DD (they were flower girls and getting their hair styled).  Step sister's step DS was with us also.

Those kids were running around playing with stuff and even trying to go upstair into the stylists living quarters!  Their mom/stepmom wasn't doing anything to stop bad behavior.....she was more interested in putting on and modeling the dress she had just bought to wear to the wedding.  Her mom (step mother of the bride)  did/said nothing.  I couldn't help myself....I had to stop them from going upstairs and from there, I directed their attentions to calmer activities.  I even took them outside to run around for a little while. 

I know I probably overstepped, but nobody said anything to me about it.  I think I got a grateful look from the hairstylist....but I could have misinterpreted.  I was embarrassed, and they weren't even my children or grandchildren.
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DCGirl

Re: Bad behavior at the Reception
« Reply #5 on: November 23, 2021, 08:24:02 am »
I have nothing but the deepest respect for banquet servers.  I don't think I could do your jobs.
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baritone108

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Re: Bad behavior at the Reception
« Reply #6 on: November 23, 2021, 01:07:07 pm »
I couldn't help myself....I had to stop them from going upstairs and from there, I directed their attentions to calmer activities.  I even took them outside to run around for a little while. 

I know I probably overstepped, but nobody said anything to me about it.  I think I got a grateful look from the hairstylist....but I could have misinterpreted.  I was embarrassed, and they weren't even my children or grandchildren.

This was the hardest part for me.  I wanted to say something so badly but the Party Center owner was there and he didn't say anything even when one of the kids nearly toppled him while he was bringing out food.  I didn't want to get fired.
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oogyda

Re: Bad behavior at the Reception
« Reply #7 on: November 23, 2021, 06:16:53 pm »
I couldn't help myself....I had to stop them from going upstairs and from there, I directed their attentions to calmer activities.  I even took them outside to run around for a little while. 

I know I probably overstepped, but nobody said anything to me about it.  I think I got a grateful look from the hairstylist....but I could have misinterpreted.  I was embarrassed, and they weren't even my children or grandchildren.

This was the hardest part for me.  I wanted to say something so badly but the Party Center owner was there and he didn't say anything even when one of the kids nearly toppled him while he was bringing out food.  I didn't want to get fired.

Yeah.  At least this wasn't while I was "at work".  Before I stepped in they had managed to break off several stalks/leaves of a nice plant. 
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Winterlight

Re: Bad behavior at the Reception
« Reply #8 on: November 25, 2021, 10:12:58 pm »
My shul does a Passover seder every year, and there was one year where those of us who were serving flatly refused to leave the kitchen till the rambunctious kids were corralled. There was no way we'd be carrying hot bowls of soup while dodging sprinting toddlers, it had happened the year before and we had at least one server who'd gotten soup on themself because of this (and was just grateful it hadn't landed on a seated person's head.) The person running the seder loudly and pointedly called this out, and embarrassed parents grabbed their kids and pinned them into chairs. Public shame does have its uses.
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Snowfire

Re: Bad behavior at the Reception
« Reply #9 on: December 02, 2021, 05:09:23 pm »
Some parents just refuse to parent. The pastor at my cousin's wedding actually stopped the service to "request" that the grooms sister take her tantruming toddler out of the sanctuary. There was child care available, for free, and she had just chosen not to use it. She just sat there while the kid has a total screaming fit.
If the DM is smiling, it is too late to run.
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