Bad Manners and Brimstone

It’s not the B list — it’s the Z list! 

I wonder if that’s a thing already.

How have your thoughts evolved, if at all?

Not really. I have attended two weddings since then. One was virtual (a live stream where there was no way to really let the couple know you were there.) I found it boring and caught myself nodding off. I was surprised to receive the invitation (not close to the couple), which was super informal through email. Had I been invited in-person, I might have attended... or maybe not. I normally would have sent a gift, but the couple specifically requested no gifts. Plus, when I saw the couple a few months prior, they mentioned that they wanted to have an in-person party / reception sometime down the road. Again, I don't know if I will also attend that, but I figure that might be the more appropriate time to send a gift.

I will say that it was super nice not to have to dress for the event. I only spent 30 minutes of my day viewing the ceremony (and as mentioned, it didn't matter how tired I was.) It was the perfect investment of my time according to my relationship with them. I am calling this Zoom invitation a win for that!

The other was an in-person wedding. I had planned to attend pre-covid, but it got postponed a year. I wasn't thrilled by the lack of covid precautions, but I was vaccinated and was as careful as I could be. I also sent my RSVP at a moment when I thought things would improve... it was a tough decision to not bail. The size did seem on the small side, but I don't know if they paired down or if many people opted not to attend. In the end, I'm glad that I could attend. I would not have enjoyed this one as much through Zoom.

I wanted to add that I have also attended a few other virtual events within the past year. Not weddings, but other types of gatherings. My favorite ones were those where there was some sort of participant interaction like a chat box. Also, it feels super disjointed when the live participants do not acknowledge the virtual ones. I would recommend that any couple streaming their ceremony also plan a camera moment. It doesn't have to be long, but just say something like "Just wanted a close-up to thank everyone for logging in. We're sad that you are not here, but [insert any personal feelings or comments]." Short sweet, but feels more personal.