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Or you could set your privacy on that post to "Friends except".  That will give you a drop down of all your friends and you would click on the button next to her name. 

After you blur out her face.

That would stop Barbara from being able to see it, but her objection was that other people would see it and "other people" still would and might say something to the effect of "Hey!  I saw the two of you really close together at such-and-such monument and not only were you standing close together, you weren't even wearing masks!  What's up with that?"  And that's what she's trying to avoid.
Life in General / Re: Vacation home Issues
« Last post by gramma dishes on Today at 10:07:51 am »
You have far less sleeping space in your king sized bed than your daughter and the other guest will have all alone in their queen sized ones.  And bedrooms are for sleeping.  Can't see much of the lake at night anyway, so a lake view from the room doesn't really matter at all.
Gaming / Re: Word Association Game
« Last post by Rain on Today at 10:06:53 am »
Weddings / Re: Honorary Flower Girl - Sorta?
« Last post by Rose Red on Today at 09:10:49 am »
The OP said her daughter doesn't care about winning. She just want to be part of the group that's in the center of attention. She need to learn that's not possible all the time and how to handle it without putting down others. She's a child, which makes it easier to slowly teach empathy now rather than later. Children will hit out or pout or throw tantrums, but those are teachable moments as they happen (or when they calm down).

I'm glad the OP is at least recognizing it does more harm than good in the long run to put down other children to make her daughter feel better and hopefully stop.
Life in General / Re: Vacation home Issues
« Last post by Sara Crewe on Today at 08:39:20 am »
This might be unfair if you were expecting to split with you paying two thirds (i.e. per room) but since there are effectively four sleeping Ďspacesí in the rental, it only makes sense for the married couple to take the two in the same bed.
Weddings / Re: Honorary Flower Girl - Sorta?
« Last post by Gellchom on Today at 08:19:26 am »
Look, sheís just a little kid. I donít know many kids her age who are empathetic cheerleaders for others.  Itís just something she needs to work on, with your help.  Thereís always something!  Some kids are violent or steal or lie, and that's worse, And their parents have to deal with that.  And they do, and so can you. 

I do agree with others that negativity about others, even secretly, isnít a good strategy, though.  In one of your posts, you indicated that it was a strategy you have used yourself.  Maybe this will be good for both of you.

Success and blessings arenít a zero sum game, and itís an unhealthy trap to fall into thinking that way.  Another personís talents and triumphs do not reduce our own one bit.  I love the candle analogy.

Brielle has many advantages and strengths that others do not.  She didnít get them at their expense.  And they donít have theirs at her expense, either. 

I think sheís old enough to understand that. 

This is why I suggest strongly that you steer her away from competitive situations.  Dance classes, not competitive teams.  Music and art lessons, not pageants.  Exercise and play, not trophies.  Focus on the skill and the joy of creation and improving, not WINNING.  Because thatís the zero-sum mind set she needs to let go of ó where only one person or team can be The Winner or The Star or The Only Child.  You are in control of that, and she needs you to do it for her. 

Improvement will be gradual and unsteady, so donít be too hard on yourselves.  Sheís going to be fine. 

Hugs to you both!
Weddings / Re: Honorary Flower Girl - Sorta?
« Last post by Rose Red on Today at 07:52:31 am »
When she refuse to dance and have fun at the wedding, she was only punishing herself. Yet you let her ruin it for you too. Same thing with the concert and the tv talent show. Your daughter needs to learn that she can't be a part of everything. And you and your husband need to learn how to how not to let her control you. You could have just let her pout and hide (as long as she wasn't making a loud scene) while you enjoy the wedding.

It seems you're afraid of your daughter's meltdowns and are willing to give up your lifestyle and sacrifice others so that she's never unhappy. What will happen when she grows up? People are less willing to understand and brush off a sulking teenager/adult like they are children.

Nobody is perfect and we all have moments of jealousy and sour grapes, but learning to be disappointed in public is an important part of life. Sometimes we can't manage to hide our disappointment but we still need to try to be polite when it happens.
Life in General / Re: Vacation home Issues
« Last post by Rose Red on Today at 06:30:03 am »
If it were me as the single person, it wouldn't occur to me to have the king size room since the cost and space is equal. It's just that the couple's two spaces happen to be in one room.
Life in General / Re: Vacation home Issues
« Last post by Wanaca on Today at 05:56:13 am »
I don't see anything wrong with the way you are dividing things.  Besides, when two people share a king sized bed, they each get the equivalence of a twin sized area to sleep.
Weddings / Re: Honorary Flower Girl - Sorta?
« Last post by Jem on Today at 03:59:40 am »
I donít know that it is healthy to diminish or taint someone elseís accomplishments or attributes in an attempt to quell jealousy. Iím sure Brielle wouldnít want other people to do that to her. Shouldnít she be taught to be confident in herself and that she doesnít have to dim someone elseís shine in order to shine herself?

The descriptions of how Brielle has acted in various situations and was allowed to act at the last wedding make me cringe. She truly needs to work on her social skills, although I donít know that a wedding is the place to practice. I wouldnít want such behavior at my event.

She needs to learn to be happy for other people without rationalizing that they somehow donít deserve it or that they really are ďworseĒ than she is. The technique described by the OP to deal with jealousy comes across as really quite destructive to a child (and to an adult)!
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