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61
Weddings / My goodness, was there a sale at the audacity store?
« Last post by Hmmm on October 20, 2025, 10:10:32 am »
I read this letter to Ask Eric about a couple married a year prior and asking co-workers to donate to a honeymoon fund. It sounds as if gifts were given at the wedding. The first line of the response **** me up... it's what is quoted in the subject line.

https://www.arcamax.com/healthandspirit/lifeadvice/askingeric/s-3885680

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Gaming / Re: Dragon Cave
« Last post by Asharah on September 28, 2025, 12:44:54 am »
NEW EGGS!!!!!
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Gaming / Re: Dragon Cave
« Last post by Asharah on August 30, 2025, 11:09:34 pm »
NEW EGG!!!!!

Forest & Jungle
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Good News!!! / Re: Such Happy News!
« Last post by jpcher on August 25, 2025, 08:04:58 pm »
Again, I thank you for all of your responses.

I went to the Gender Reveal party this past weekend . . . it's a GIRL! ;D

My son-in-law gave me a kitchen towel with "World's Best Oma!" stitched on it, so I guess I'll be called Oma ;D. Love it!

I am over the moon, filled with joy and happiness right now.

Life is good.  ;D
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Entertaining and Hospitality / Re: Baby Shower Planning
« Last post by Aleko on August 20, 2025, 01:26:09 am »
When my brother and SIL held a party to introduce their firstborn to their friends, although showers have never been a thing in Britain just about everybody turned up with a soft toy; they had to get a plastic dustbin to put them all in. No child, let alone a month-old baby, can love an entire dustbinful of toys; they won’t even have names for most of them. (I think eventually DH and SIL, having identified the ones he seemed to have any attachment to, at intervals excavated a batch of the ones that were still sitting untouched at the bottom of the bin and took them to a charity shop.)

So I think asking for books with the giver’s name and message is a great idea. That’s something everybody can enjoy giving, it’s personal in a way diapers or toys just aren’t, and a bookcase full of books each of which has been loved by somebody or has inspired them, is a treasure chest.
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Entertaining and Hospitality / Re: Baby Shower Planning
« Last post by lowspark on August 19, 2025, 03:49:39 pm »
I have seen it before. Like I said, LOTS of things that are the norm today are things that would have been frowned upon "back in my day". :)

Again - this is a shower. A party which, by definition, is asking for gifts.

I think you might word it a little bit softer though.

The parents-to-be would like to surround their child with books.
Instead of a card, they request that you write your message and signature in a copy your favorite childhood book.
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Entertaining and Hospitality / Re: Baby Shower Planning
« Last post by jpcher on August 19, 2025, 03:30:59 pm »
New thought that I'd like your perspective on . . .

Talking to DD#2 about the invitations, she said we should say something like "In lieu of cards, please bring your favorite childhood book. Write a comment on the book and sign your name."

I told her that it sounded a bit gift-grabby.

She said "No, Mom. It Is A Thing. Lots of people are doing it these days." I guess, as the child grows, the books can be read to them and parents would say "This is from Friend who thought about you even before you were born." or some such thing.

I've been invited to bbshowers where, on the invitation, it said "bring a pack of diapers to be entered into a raffle." type of thing.



I don't know, maybe I'm just not up on the current etiquette. Too old and set in my ways.


What do you think about adding the "bring a book" thing on the invitations?

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Good News!!! / Re: Such Happy News!
« Last post by RubyCat on August 14, 2025, 09:27:26 pm »
Wonderful news! Congratulations!!!
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Entertaining and Hospitality / Re: Baby Shower Planning
« Last post by jpcher on August 08, 2025, 06:59:03 pm »
Quote from: lowspark on August 08, 2025, 01:05:41 pm
Of course you are right, gellchom. At least for norms as they have existed for most of my life.

But I've come to recognize that times have changed. What used to be considered as rude or gauche in many cases has not only become accepted but quite often expected.

lowspark -- your entire post was very elegantly stated. I especially agree with the above.

I've attended many parties that my DDs (and friends of theirs) have hosted and when people leave, they don't walk guests to the door to say goodbye! In my day and age that was something that polite people did . . . walk with your guests to the door to say a final "thank you for coming" and goodbye. I guess that's not the norm anymore.

I will talk to my DDs about this and look more in-depth about gift wording and what is acceptable today with 30somethings. Thanks!

Quote from: gellchom on August 08, 2025, 12:15:06 pm
I usually enjoy most of the activities and games. I'd suggest not to have too too many; I have been to one or two showers where there were so many things we had to make and do and guess and write out that it got a little exhausting!  I did once win a nice coffee mug, though. 

gellchom -- YES! Thank you for reinforcing my thoughts. I know DD#1 said "Lots of games" but I think we need to be a bit picky about which games and space them out over time so that the game play is not overwhelming.


I appreciate everybody's input! Thanks! ;D
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Entertaining and Hospitality / Re: Baby Shower Planning
« Last post by lowspark on August 08, 2025, 01:05:41 pm »
Of course you are right, gellchom. At least for norms as they have existed for most of my life.

But I've come to recognize that times have changed. What used to be considered as rude or gauche in many cases has not only become accepted but quite often expected.

Quote from: gellchom on August 08, 2025, 12:15:06 pm
1) The guests are all going to get gifts for this baby at some point anyway, no matter what you call the party (I bet many won't even notice what it's called, and most will just think of it as "DD#1's shower" anyway no matter what you call it),

Exactly! It's a shower no matter what you call it. And the invitees are going to know that. And they are going to buy gifts.

Twenty years ago, I would totally agree with you to be super careful about wording and coming across as expecting gifts, etc.
But the more time goes on, the less anyone, at least of the generations younger than I, cares about that kind of stuff.

I've gotten lots of invitations now, as I'm sure you have, that have broken etiquette rules that were firmly in place for most of my life. Many of those rules just don't matter anymore.

All this probably isn't making things easier for jpcher, but I'd advise her to get with DD#1 and hash it out. DD#1 knows what will sit well (or not) with her contemporaries, and it sounds like that will be who will make up the majority of the guest list.
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